paul rudd: [an actor who has played many different roles through his career, and now even plays a superhero that will likely be his most recognized character]
ben wyatt’s voice in the back of my head, softly whispering:
I want to know about the things going on in the world, and be an educated participant in society
but psychologically and biologically I can’t live my life to a continuous background chant of “everything is awful, everything is awful, everything is awful,”
and I still don’t really know where the balance is.
The experiences of conventionally attractive people and conventionally unattractive people can be so jarringly different and it really deserves some conversation. But I hate how the only mention of this comes from incels or anti-feminists or other right aligned losers with not an ounce of nuance in their bones lmaooo
Like, your physical attractiveness can shape not just your interpersonal experiences but also real tangible things such as but no limited to whether or not you get a job or being believed as a victim or what kind of roles you can get as an actor or perhaps the length of a sentence or how much help is offered to you in a time of need etc. etc.
I think about this shit so much. And it’s weird to have a conversation about because other males and attractive females usually don’t get it.
And by the time these “unattractive” people get out and make friends sometimes a life full of outside-looking-in hasn’t prepared them for frequent social behavior. They lose twice.
Also, people use theirsocial circles as status symbols pretty much right after puberty. So say an unattractive person makes friends with someone popular in a class. That friend isn’t going to make plans to hang out with them outside of that setting.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs even says belongingness is a human fundamental for fulfillment and purpose in life. You can only imagine how hard it must be for people who are also homeless.
I’m currently in a class that discuss the rhetoric of beauty across cultures and some of the articles we’ve analyzed dealt with how some cultures, in particular east Asian ones, emphasize appearance as an indicator of skill and worth. Often, people get plastic surgery for their jobs, to the degree that not getting one puts you at a disadvantage.
Theres a little less nuance but the idea that beauty is an indicator of worth is so concrete that people are permanently changing their appearance to good results, they actually do get the job over conventionally unattractive people. At this stage, being unattractive is equivalent to being lazy because the ability to alter your appearance is there, but you aren’t taking it.
And that brings up classism in all of this because let’s look at who can and cannot afford image altering procedures and products
Idk how articulate this is going to be, but this all makes me think about how fucked up those “power of makeup” videos and Instagram /YouTube makeup culture is. You have all these conventially attractive upper middle class women telling other women, and usually young girls, to buy so and so product, all with the subtle (or not so subtle) implication that they will have the same status and looks if they do. Underlying that is the constant unspoken knowledge that using 23 makeup products totaling over $500 will make you more “attractive” and therefore happier, more popular, Better.
Hopefully this wasn’t too off topic, its just all connected. Studies have shown that overweight women who do not dress up or wear makeup to Drs appointments are more likely to be misdiagnosed. Anecdotal evidence shows that women who do not conform to beauty standards by wearing makeup and performing femininity are less likely to be promoted or treated well at work, etc
cats don’t know what words mean and i love that about them. i can say “you are a beautiful little angel child and i love you more than anything else in the entire world” but also “you wretched little clown bastard. you’ve created such a big mess and now i have to clean it because i have hands and you don’t. this is god’s cruelest joke.” and they don’t care they just say :3 and put their little paws on me
